December 15, 2024
Kimberly Day, CFP®
Year-end is my time to reflect: What have I learned this year? What lessons can I share with others? For me, 2024 has been a year of profound change—the most significant being that I got married. I am now a wife.
Merging my life with my husband’s has been the best decision I’ve ever made, but it came with an incredible amount of planning, especially around finances. As exciting as it was to plan a wedding, the conversations we had about our financial lives—our assets, debts, goals, and how we want to manage money—were just as important as choosing a venue or writing our vows.
Marriage is more than a romantic partnership; it’s a financial one, too. Decisions about whether to keep property separate or commingle it as community property, how to manage expenses, and how to protect each other’s financial futures are critical steps to building a solid foundation together. After navigating these conversations and decisions myself, I want to share what I learned for others who are preparing for the financial realities of marriage, both before and after the wedding.
Before Getting Married: A Financial Checklist
Before walking down the aisle, take these steps to ensure your financial partnership starts on solid ground.
Be open and transparent about the numbers
Money issues can be blamed for many dissolved marriages. That’s why it’s important to start with an open conversation about your financial lives—no holding back. Discuss where you’re starting and where you want to go together. Trust, transparency, and a solid financial plan create a strong beginning to married life.
Here’s what to lay out on the table:
Salaries and cash flow: How much cash each of you are bringing in (salary, interest/dividends, etc.)
Debt: What you owe—student loans, credit cards, mortgages, or other obligations
Savings and investments: What you’ve built so far, including retirement accounts, emergency funds, other assets, and your savings rate and whether you’re happy with it
Credit history: Spill the tea on your credit scores and how they affect shared goals, like buying a home
This isn’t just about numbers; it’s about dreaming big. What does your ideal financial future look like?
Get Emotional
Let’s be real: money is not just math—it’s emotions, history, and sometimes a little drama. To really understand each other, talk about:
Your relationship with money: How your spending, saving, and investing decisions have shaped you
Goals and dreams: Where you want to be in 1 year, 5 years, 20 years
Financial stressors and risk tolerances: Is one of you a “live for today” spender while the other’s a “save every penny” type?
Merging finances vs. keeping them separate:
o Do you want a shared account for joint expenses?
o Do you want to keep individual accounts for independence? (By way of example, my husband – I’m still getting used to saying that! - and I use a shared account for household expenses but keep individual accounts for our “fun money.”)
Decision-making roles: Do you prefer joint financial decisions, or should one of you take the lead?
Conflict resolution: How will you handle disagreements about money?
Family obligations: Do you feel responsible for supporting family members financially? Do you plan on having kids?
This is where you dig into what matters most, because let’s face it—money touches almost everything.
Some “Other Stuff”
These topics might not feel as romantic, but trust me, they’re just as important.
Separate versus Community Property
Separate property: Assets you own before marriage, inheritances, and gifts are usually considered yours alone—so long as you do not co-mingle them with marital assets.
Community property: In many states, including California, anything earned or bought during the marriage is considered joint property and typically divided 50/50 in a divorce.
Decide what feels fair for your partnership.
A prenuptial agreement may be an appropriate option
o For their own personal reasons, some people do not consider prenuptial agreements an option. But for others, it’s comforting to know that a prenup distinguishes in writing separate assets (premarital assets, inheritances, and/or business interests for example) from those acquired during the marriage.
After Getting Married: Taking Care of the Details
Once the wedding is over, the financial work isn’t done—think of this as building the foundation for your happily ever after. The below steps will ensure your financial life together continues on the right footing.
Update Beneficiaries, Account Titles, and Estate Plans
Estate planning is the most important step because it ensures you or your spouse are protected in the event of death or incapacitation. Without updated beneficiaries and estate docs, your wishes might not be honored and your spouse could face delays or disputes. Here are some steps to think about:
Update beneficiaries: Retirement accounts, life insurance policies, and investment accounts should reflect your new marital status (if that’s what you elect to do).
Review account titles and ownership: Consider retitling bank accounts or property into joint ownership, or adding Transfer on Death (TOD) designations to investment accounts. This ensures assets can be easily transferred without probate.
Consider drafting a trust: Trusts might not sound exciting, but they’re one of the smartest tools for long-term financial planning:
o Control over assets: Decide how and when assets are distributed.
o Avoid probate: Keep your estate transfer private, reduce legal fees, and save time.
o Incapacity planning: Ensure your bills are paid and assets managed if you are unable to do so.
Revisit Your Insurance Needs
After covering your estate planning docs and titles, move on to the insurance conversation.
Health Insurance: Compare plans and discuss combining coverage or keeping your individual plans.
Life Insurance: If you’re planning to buy a home, start a family, or simply protect each other financially, now is the time to purchase or increase life coverage. At WEIL, we generally recommend buying term policies that cover your insurance need for a set period of time (say, until a mortgage is paid off or a child is off to college).
For my husband and me, life insurance became a priority because we are planning for a family. It gives us peace of mind knowing that our family should be financially secure, no matter what.
Create a Joint Budget
Now that the foundation is covered, you can address how future spending and saving will be handled. Budgeting is one of the simplest ways to stay aligned financially. Think of it as your financial road map.
Fixed expenses: Mortgage/rent, utilities, insurance, etc.
Savings goals: Emergency funds, retirement, and/or a dream vacation.
Discretionary spending: Dining out, entertainment, and hobbies.
In our household, we also added a “fun money” category—no questions asked. It’s a small way to maintain independence while keeping the big picture balanced.
File taxes as a married couple
One important change in your financial life that occurs after marriage is your ability to file taxes as a married couple. How do you decide what to do? The obvious answer is to work with a tax professional, but generally most married couples benefit from filing jointly. Here are some things to consider:
Married filing jointly offers benefits like:
o Lower tax brackets for combined income
o Larger deductions and tax credits (e.g., Earned Income Tax Credit, Child Tax Credit)
o Simplified filing—you’ll only need one return
Married filing separately can make sense under the following circumstances:
o Student loan payments: Income-driven repayment plans may benefit from separate filings.
o Medical expenses: You may qualify for deductions more easily with lower combined income.
o Liability concerns: Filing separately can protect one spouse if the other has tax issues or owes back taxes.
Don’t Forget the Small Stuff
It is easy to overlook the little details, but they matter:
Notify your employer of your new marital status (and name, if you changed it).
Update Social Security records, driver’s licenses, voter registration, and credit cards.
Consolidate subscriptions and memberships to save money and simplify your finances.
Final Thoughts
Marriage is a partnership in every sense—an emotional commitment, yes, but also a financial one. The conversations you have about money before and after the wedding lay the foundation for trust, collaboration, and shared success.
If these decisions feel overwhelming, remember you don’t have to navigate them alone. These are big decisions, and the WEIL team is here to help. Whether it’s understanding community property, choosing the right tax filing status, or creating a trust, we’re here to guide you every step of the way.
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